WIBTA if I bailed on my disabled mother to go to a birthday party? I (35) have been trying to care for my mother (70F) as she gets older. She’s got COPD and an oxygen machine, and it’s getting harder for her to walk. I try to handle the dishes and the trash, carry anything heavy like the pots, pans, and furniture. I constantly wake up at 3 am to clean up her urine, jump out of bed when I hear a loud thud because I’m so scared it’s her. I used to work a full-time job to support us financially, but my seizure disorder stopped allowing that. Functional Neurological Disorder. The room hasn’t stopped spinning since 2016.
In exchange, she’s the household’s designated driver. That’s how my sister gets to work, how I get to physical therapy, etc.
Just walking out to get in the car is extremely hard on her joints, so I’ve had to give up socializing with local groups because I have no transportation.
Back when I lost my job and got diagnosed, my childhood friend picked me up and took me across state lines for a week-long vacation at her house.
That was four years ago. Her birthday’s coming up this weekend and she wants me there. I want to go. *I think it would be really healing*, not to be on-call as a medical assistant for a few days while I’m dealing with my own disorder.
My friends and my therapist all agree. They keep telling me that I can’t wait potentially 10-20 years to get out and live my own life.
My family (EDIT: just my mom and sister) says it’s **unfair** for me to leave my mom without a caretaker while my sister’s at work.
