I’m pretty sure my roommate is lonely, and it’s killing me to watch him pretend he isn’t. My roommate is a 33-year-old guy with a good job, very independent, very “I don’t need anyone.” On the surface he’s fine. But living with him, you see things other people don’t. He talks to the cat more than to people. He eats standing up like he’s used to being rushed. He always has headphones on, not listening to anything loudly, just enough to fill silence. His birthday passed two weeks ago. No one called.
Not even his family. He pretended it didn’t bother him, ordered takeout, and said “it’s just another day.” But later that night I heard him quietly crying in the kitchen. He tries so hard to act like he doesn’t want connection, but every now and then something slips through. Like when I cook dinner and he says, “Smells good,” but stands in the doorway like he’s afraid to ask if he can join.
Last night he asked if I wanted to watch a movie. He said it super casually, like “if not, it’s cool.” I said yes, obviously. But he looked surprised. Like he genuinely expected I’d say no.
I don’t know how to help someone who’s built their personality around pretending they don’t need help. He’s a good person. I wish he saw himself the way the few people who actually know him do.
