How do couples navigate mismatched bedtimes? Bf (35) of 2 yrs upset I (28f) can’t match his bedtime My boyfriend (35m) and I (28f) have been together a little over two years, started living together in August. We’ve had a recurring conflict about bedtime. He wants us both in bed by 10pm because he needs 9–10 hours of sleep. My sleep condition limits me to about six hours of sleep exactly. If I go to bed at 10, I’m up at 4am stuck tiptoeing around, unable to leave the house (I’m disabled, don’t drive) or start work without derailing my whole day. Plus, I need some decompression time at night to reset my brain—reading, watching something, just coming down from the day. So realistically, midnight is the earliest that actually works for me.
Some nights I could get in bed with him an hour or so earlier, but I’ll just be lying there with him until I can take my sleep meds at 12am. So I wouldn’t want that every night. I suggested he could go to bed earlier some nights and I’d join later. He was furious.
He claims that couples should always go to bed together, and that waking up at 4am should be “great for productivity,” and I should be happy about that. I feel like I’m losing my grip on what’s reasonable. Do I just need to accept a 4am wake up time? Is it absurd that I’m not excited for that?
How do we resolve this?
