AITA for calling out my best friend’s boyfriend at her birthday dinner for constantly “joking” at her expense? Thus, “Lena” (28F) is my best friend, and I am (27F). Since college, we have been inseparable. We met at **the University of Michigan** during our freshman year, and together we overcame heartbreaks, awful roommates, and far too many late-night pizza orders. Lena began dating this guy, “Mark,” 30M, about a year ago. I made a sincere effort to like him at first. However, he would constantly make small remarks about Lena whenever we all got together, such as correcting her stories in the middle of sentences or making light of the fact that she was “bad with money” in public. I didn’t find it amusing. It appeared to be disparaging.
Let’s go back to last month. I was invited to Lena’s birthday dinner. Mark organized it. This fancy rooftop restaurant downtown is where we all first met.
Everything was going smoothly up until Lena began narrating a story about a trip she had taken alone prior to their meeting.
“Yeah, that’s when she was in her ‘main character’ phase and thought she was going to move to Paris and become the next Coco Chanel,” Mark said, interrupting her. Everyone chuckled. However, Lena’s smile briefly faded. *I witnessed it*.
Mark later joked that Lena would “probably forget their future kids at soccer practice” after having a few glasses of wine. That’s when I lost it. “I find it strange that all of your jokes are just insults,” I remarked.
There was silence at the table. “I was being sensitive,” Mark said, laughing awkwardly. “No, I just don’t think it’s funny to constantly make fun of your girlfriend,” I said. Lena appeared ashamed.
She drew me aside and accused me of ruining her birthday and embarrassing her. She claimed that I caused discomfort for everyone and that Mark was “just joking.” Since then, we haven’t really spoken. I’m conflicted now. Sincerely, I thought I was defending her. Perhaps I went too far, though? Perhaps I wasn’t meant to be there? It was dinner for her birthday. Rather than confronting him in front of everyone, I could have had a private conversation with her. Thus… Was I the asshole???
