I (24F) hosted a Valentine’s Day party this Friday for our friend group. Two of the friends in this group Emily (25F) and Tyler (25M) have been dating for a while. A few days before the party Tyler texted me he was planning to propose to Emily at my party. He seemed really excited and asked me if I could help him plan the moment. The thing is Emily is one of my closest friends and has told me multiple times over the years that she would HATE a public proposal. Like, she’s been very clear about this. She’s mentioned it to me when we were both attending another wedding. She thinks they’re *performative* and is the most shy and introverted person I know. She would be anxious at the thought of so many eyes on her and feel pressured to say yes even if she didn’t want to.
I tried to hint subtly to Tyler that maybe a public proposal wasn’t the best idea, but he kind of brushed me off? I suggested doing it on the actual Valentine’s Day but apparently he had to work that night and couldn’t get it off plus he wanted all our friends to witness their romantic moment together.
I panicked and told Emily of his plans. She was grateful I told her but also really upset that he didn’t know her well enough to realize she’d hate this.
She must have confronted him about it and their conversation didn’t go well because when they came to the party the tension was **OBVIOUS**. Everyone could tell something was wrong and it made the whole night awkward.
Tyler has barely spoken to me since, and he said in our group chat that I “sabotaged” him and “ruined the most important moment of his life.” One of our friends said I should have talked to HIM privately instead of telling Emily and that I betrayed him by giving away his secret. A few others are just annoyed that the party was ruined by the way they acted all night. Some people are on my side but I regret causing so much drama over it.
Tyler thinks I deliberately sabotaged his proposal. I think if he was ready to marry her he should have known her well enough to know she’d hate a public proposal. I was trying to save them both from embarrassment. But now I’m wondering if I should have just warned him more directly instead of telling her? I feel terrible that I’m in the middle of their relationship drama and caused somewhat of a rift between our friends.
