My dad got married to Kathleen when I (22f) was 15. Kathleen has two kids. A daughter I never met. And then she has a son Benjamin (18m). Benjamin is allergic to peanuts and shellfish. On top of that him and Kathleen are very picky eaters. His diet when I lived there consisted of pizza, fries and burgers and beef and cheese tacos. He didn’t eat fruits or vegetables. He didn’t eat any meat except for beef. He’d eat chocolate and ice cream. Kathleen’s super picky too. Anytime they want to do a family meal out they expect us all to go to their chosen fast food places that work for Benjamin and Kathleen ONLY and I’m tired of this. A few weeks ago I had a birthday dinner with my fiancé, mom and some friends. Dad had wanted to come and he expected Kathleen and Benjamin to be invited too. But I said that I would feel uncomfortable and that I don’t want to feel guilty if they eat something that will make them feel bad. Dad agreed and told me that he’d meet with me later to congratulate me.
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But in the middle of the dinner, the restaurant door swings open and **Kathleen breaks in**. In full drama-queen mode, she rushes to my place, her eyes locked on me: “You, an ungrateful creature was it TOO DIFFICULT for you to consider us on your birthday?” I was stunned. Absolutely mortified. My friends, my fiancé, my *mother* were all staring in disbelief. I couldn’t believe she would pull a stunt like that, especially after my dad supposedly talked to her about it.
I tried to explain that it wasn’t about excluding them, but about having one meal where I didn’t have to worry about accommodating their incredibly restrictive diets. But she wouldn’t listen. She kept ranting about how I never consider them family and how I always make things difficult. The whole restaurant was staring at this point. I wanted to crawl under the table and disappear. My fiancé tried to intervene, but Kathleen just turned on him, accusing him of enabling my “selfish behavior.”
My mom, who is usually very calm and collected, finally had enough. She stood up and told Kathleen that she was being completely inappropriate and asked her to leave. Kathleen, of course, refused. She started crying and saying that we were all ganging up on her and Benjamin. It was an absolute circus. Eventually, my dad showed up, looking completely mortified. He managed to get Kathleen to leave, but the damage was done. My birthday dinner was completely ruined, and I was left feeling humiliated and angry.
Since that night, things have been incredibly tense. I haven’t spoken to Kathleen, and my relationship with my dad is strained. I’m still furious about what she did, and I don’t know how we can ever move past this. Honestly, I am now considering cutting them out of my life.
