I (28m) have a twin brother. We were total opposites in many ways, but we were always best friends, truly inseparable growing up. After college, I decided to spread my wings and moved to Portland, while he stayed back home in Arizona. Despite the distance, I always made it a point to fly home for all the holidays and any other big events that came up. It was important to both of us to maintain that strong connection, no matter how far apart we were physically. Last year, he excitedly told me that he had finally popped the question and that his girlfriend had said yes! Of course, I was overjoyed for him and couldn’t wait to meet her and celebrate their engagement. He mentioned that they were planning on having an engagement party sometime in the next six to eight weeks. I specifically asked him to please let me know the exact date as soon as possible so that I could book my flight and make all the necessary arrangements to be there. He promised he would, and I was looking forward to it.
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But as the weeks started to pass, I noticed something strange. I hadn’t heard anything about the engagement party. Every time I tried to bring it up in conversation with either him or my parents, they would subtly dodge the question or change the subject altogether. It was starting to feel a little bit weird and like maybe they were intentionally keeping something from me. Finally, after pressing my mom about it, she reluctantly told me that it was just going to be “a small, intimate family dinner, nothing that you need to fly in for.” I was a little disappointed, but I took her word for it and didn’t push it any further.
Several weeks later, I discovered that what my mom had said was a complete and utter lie. It turned out that it wasn’t a small family dinner at all; it was actually a huge engagement party. They had rented out a restaurant, invited over eighty guests, including all of our extended family and friends. Apparently, everyone was specifically told that I “couldn’t make it,” as if I had willingly chosen not to attend my own twin brother’s engagement party. I only found out about the truth when my aunt, completely unaware that I wasn’t supposed to know, texted me to tell me how sad she was that I wasn’t there and that she was missing me. **That’s when I knew something was really wrong.**
Immediately, I tried to figure out why everyone had lied to me and why I wasn’t invited. I called my brother, I called my parents, but everyone was avoiding eye contact and brushing aside every attempt I made to talk about it. It was like I had committed some sort of unspeakable crime, and nobody wanted to tell me what it was. I was starting to get incredibly frustrated and hurt by the whole situation. It felt like a betrayal of the worst kind.
Fast forward to this past May. I was home for my sister’s birthday, and I decided that I was not going to let this whole engagement party fiasco go until I got some answers. I brought it up one last time, pleading with my family to just tell me the truth and explain why no one would give me a straight answer. I think my sister finally got sick of the whole thing and could no longer stand seeing me so upset. She looked me dead in the eye and confessed the reason for all the secrecy. **The truth was so unbelievable, it nearly knocked me off my feet.**
She revealed that my brother believed I was intentionally trying to steal his fiancée from him. Apparently, he had become incredibly insecure and paranoid and convinced himself that I was secretly attracted to his future wife. He thought that if I came to the engagement party, I would try to sabotage their relationship. I left right after that confession and refused to attend the wedding. It’s over. I will not be attending a wedding where my own brother thinks I’m going to try to steal his wife. The audacity.
